Afterword

So I got an exhortation to keep blogging. So here’s an update:

I defended in July, which was great, however, I was in this liminal state all summer because my grandmother died, I was at my parents’ house until my tenant got out, and I was not working so I was on a ridiculous budget. Not to mention a whole bunch of tomfoolery surrounding my limited job search (by this I mean two applications—my goals for this next couple of years were very specific) and the fact that committee was very dismayed by the fact that I was not going into academia this year. Or what appeared to be never. To the point where my defense went on an extra hour because we (read: they) got into this esoteric discussion about why I was not going to into academia.

It took all I had not to curse them out because them out because 1) it’s my life. And that really is all there is to it, but 2) given the tenor of my experiences at NU, I am not certain subjecting myself to arbitrary standards for the approval of a bunch of crazy people is very high on my list of things to do for the last year of my 20s. So out of academia I am. And contrary to popular belief, I believe I will be able to get an academic job for Fall 2011 or Fall 2012, but quite frankly, I need some me time. So I am actually working in pretty interesting job right now that is the perfect pace, has great people, and is close to my condo (well a 10 minute drive), so I am happy. Is it a long-term thing? Probably not, but it’s serving it’s purpose right now.

Anyhoo, so let’s rewind back. The months running up to my defenses (our program has an odd structure so I had one in May and one in July) were just complete f*ckery on many ends. One, I had this personal trainer I met with Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday at 6:00. Foolishness. Two, I was teaching assisting-ing, and three I was just a mess. Hilariously, when I once did this summer program at Michigan, I used to wonder why the economics TA wore the same skirt to every class. I now fully understand and have committed the same offense with this really comfortable pair of jeans. I simply stopped giving a f*ck. I also was like pigpen when I would go out with people. But seriously writing intensely for days on end and also trying to manage life is sh*tty. There is no other description of it. LOL.

Sometimes my officemate and I would go out on these random ass excursions—like write all afternoon, go get margaritas and buffalo wings, and then go watch our students play club soccer. Or write all day, and then go watch the blackhawks at a gay karaoke bar and dance until our knees hurt. Or write all day, then go to my neighborhood bar, drink enough to make her boyfriend mad, and meet random people. Are you seeing the pattern?

Anyway so my dad came up for the first defense. This was so great, except the Chi was being the Chi, and it rained like cats and dogs so we couldn’t do much but we had a good time. Then Dr. O got married in what has to be the funnest (*ding) wedding of ALL TIME. It was just SO AMAZING. A bunch of folks stayed at my house, and we had two nights of open bars, an amazing ceremony, and lots of our typical foolery. We have just simply given up on trying to figure out when our behavior will change. There is a video of me dancing to baby got back which hopefully will not make it on youtube. The highlight of the evening (well one highlight) was when they brought out the midnight snack of these ridiculous French fries. SO GOOD.

What else—after the funeral, which was 2 days after my defense (is that not insane—sometimes I look back and wonder how I got over lol), I proceeded to start celebrating the fact that I was Dr. C-Dot. I went out basically every single night for weeks on end until my mother (because remember I was still at my parents’ house) started sending me bible verses everyday and asking if I was an alcoholic. This included a random trip to charlotte and one to Durham. Unfortunately I did not get any beach time in after I left the Chi, which is warped. I did discover the phenomenon of North Ave Beach Sundays about 4 years too late lol. Interestingly enough, I do not miss the chi one iota. Like not at all. Like if I see it on TV, I’m like “blah”.

I started working near the end of October. It is still rather odd to have this thing called “free time”.

J now lives in a condo down the street from mine, lol but surprisingly we are both still employed. What else? I helped P get into graduate school so he is a first year doctoral student (just call me “Jesus”) right now, however we are definitely no more. In the next few weeks, I am filing a LLC for a business I am starting, and I am applying for academic-y type jobs for next year. So life is good. Not too many complaints.

I have some fun trips planned for 2011. A wedding in Ghana, a trip to Ibiza to celebrate our 30^th, back to Chi to participate in the grad ceremonies, of course CIAAs, another wedding at a club med resort in Florida. I’m also training for a race in April.

And there is your update. 29 is great so far. No, it does not feel much different to have a PhD. I do not make anyone call me doctor. It feels different to other people around me I suppose. On my end, it was just the natural completion to years of an oppressive grind—it does not feel glamorous or anything like that. If anyone asks me should they do one, I say—if you are past 25 you need think really hard about what you’re jumping into and whether you truly have the commitment to finish. Not finishing to me is a special type of failure that will loom over you psychologically for a long time. I mean I don’t know this for sure but this is what I’m guessing. LOL.

More later.

We Done Came Up

Ok well. So I probably won't be posting that much anymore...because I'm officially Dr. C-Dot, and I'm headed into my like, adult life. This was a wild ass journey I must say...but I would not change one single solitary thing.

On the way to achieving something like this I was bound to lose some stuff in order to gain-- and I truly believe God wanted me to experience things exactly the way I did to develop some skills and characteristics in me that I will need in the future. I have lost a few friends who I don't know if I would consider them friends to start with at this point in my life...and gained some others. One of my grandmothers passed the Friday before my defense and my dog is gone.

However, I am 28 with my PhD, with people who love me, and I know who is really down for me. It is a wonderful feeling. I am looking forward to life, and living life to the fullest without some of the chaotic elements of my 20s. (although I must say I had an outing with J (yes, we're both back in DC-- the authorities are aware of this) that was very reminiscent of early 20s DC foolishness. This will probably not change, we just have money now LOL).

So I'm good. Yay.

Dr. C-dot

I'm Up

Lease up, June 30th.

Final defense, July.

Most of my dissertation is written. I have a job. Moving back to DC into my condo.

Where did these past 5 years go?

I am proud of myself-- persevered despite lots of challenges. I would not change one single thing.

so yay.

phd hoods are 4 feet long, LOL

The Present Juncture

so at this juncture i have a job offer that is contingent upon a completion date, which is not scheduled and the powers that be are dragging their asses because apparently when you are young with nothing tying you down you should be happy to keep making your fellowship stipend for the rest of your life. the job is f.a.b.u.l.o.u.s.

so yeah. It is one of those things where the end is very near and things get crazy simply because you are near the end. i am thinking by August I will be Dr. C-dot. honestly, I'm not terribly excited about it, I just want to be.done. and get the puff out the chi.

i should probably write more about this but this has been more of a spiritual journey with a degree on the side.

maybe more later.

Keeping at it

I shouldn't be neglecting my poor blog but I am sooooo busy. I have lots of great things happening and I am happy to be finishing this thing out. I have one solid study done, a draft of another study, and a sketch of the final one. It's coming together slowly but surely.

Life is good, not too many complaints. Good things happening on other fronts as well.

Maybe more later?

c

Medium Update

Sorry, not much posting as of late, but my life has been *really* busy. My main source of time and soul sapping activity is working on my dissertation. It goes in fits and starts, and my new thing is to have at least 2 hours dedicated to it per day, which is going to ramp up in January. This probably doesn't sound like a lot, but trust me, it's a lot. I also have to do research for my advisor, and I have a consulting project I am working on which takes up way to much time. This will be over after next week.

Not much else going on, Thanksgiving was massively fab (other than when we were outside the club and had to run from gunshots in downtown DC and the valet people tried to steal Ti's BMW which led to me getting home at 8:40am on Tgiving morning, but you know how my life is, lol). Other than that, I haven't been travelling or anything because I have been on the grind. I hate it when people say that because everyday you should be grinding something, and I ordinarily work pretty hard, but I have been exceeding the human bounds of productivity.

I have a new personal trainer that I go to 3 times a week at 5:30 am, which is kicking my ass, but I have to lose the weight I have gained during my PhD program.

But life is great. No complaints. Moving back east in June. I CAN NOT WAIT. South Africa over the summer. Woo hoo.

Lack o' Fun

writing a dissertation sucks. 'tis all.