Vindication. (a little)

So through an odd sequence of events, I am ta-ing intro to stats (the undergrads are animals), even though I a) swore I would never TA again, and b) do not have to TA because of my fellowship. Someone else was supposed to do it, and that person couldn't, and then someone else couldn't so they asked me. It's actually not half bad. I get a reminder of stuff I take for granted when I'm doing research, and I am fairly certain I could teach it myself should I choose to be a professor.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is one of the other TA's just had a run in with old crazy advisor. He was out of line about something that was just so ridiculous. Anyway, she was really upset so she pulls me to the side to talk about it. Apparently the rumor is that I told him to "f*ck off".

That's not true, LOL. It's hilarious that people think that, but that's not what happened. After a a school year of basically making my work environment and thus the rest of my life toxic, after I politely told him I would not be working for him anymore, he sent me *the* most insane email, to which I replied. While I did not say "f*ck off" , I did say, in so many words, I don't care if you have a nobel prize, you don't need to be popping off at the mouth like that. Anyhoo, it was this big dramatic thing that has really cast a shadow over my studies here. No one stood up for me, the then program chair was unhelpful, and anytime I have to interact with a faculty member, I have to wonder whether he got to them first. This is not something you need to be wondering about the faculty of your PhD program.

Anyway, all of this has been weighing on me, directly and indirectly since my first year. I have just been feeling like whether this has all been worth it (I am being dramatic, of course it is (RIGHT?? LOL)). On top of the fact that I am not a fan of the Chi, it has felt like a cloud is following me around.

Back to the story. So this woman comes and tells me her struggles with slim, and I am like-- of course. It happens every year with him, he makes people cry (not me-- to him anyway lol), he is unethical, just absurd... The twist is, now the dean wants people to come tell her their experiences. I kid you not, like 6 people came forward, not just from our program. Post docs, PhD students, undergrads, etc. She probably can't do anything, but it feels nice to be *heard*.

That is the one thing I have been missing. I just needed someone to *hear* me. I thought when they made him program chair it was a big f*ck you to the students, but I guess they had to do something with him.

So this has helped my meantime be a little more enjoyable. This, and the fact that I have detached myself from the outcome. I am going to finish. It is going to be ok. Struggling for no reason is not.


more later-- i have new york and dc coming up. need some summer trips out of ev-iL. No santa monica this year. maybe later for permanent. we'll see.

tootles