Afterword

So I got an exhortation to keep blogging. So here’s an update:

I defended in July, which was great, however, I was in this liminal state all summer because my grandmother died, I was at my parents’ house until my tenant got out, and I was not working so I was on a ridiculous budget. Not to mention a whole bunch of tomfoolery surrounding my limited job search (by this I mean two applications—my goals for this next couple of years were very specific) and the fact that committee was very dismayed by the fact that I was not going into academia this year. Or what appeared to be never. To the point where my defense went on an extra hour because we (read: they) got into this esoteric discussion about why I was not going to into academia.

It took all I had not to curse them out because them out because 1) it’s my life. And that really is all there is to it, but 2) given the tenor of my experiences at NU, I am not certain subjecting myself to arbitrary standards for the approval of a bunch of crazy people is very high on my list of things to do for the last year of my 20s. So out of academia I am. And contrary to popular belief, I believe I will be able to get an academic job for Fall 2011 or Fall 2012, but quite frankly, I need some me time. So I am actually working in pretty interesting job right now that is the perfect pace, has great people, and is close to my condo (well a 10 minute drive), so I am happy. Is it a long-term thing? Probably not, but it’s serving it’s purpose right now.

Anyhoo, so let’s rewind back. The months running up to my defenses (our program has an odd structure so I had one in May and one in July) were just complete f*ckery on many ends. One, I had this personal trainer I met with Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday at 6:00. Foolishness. Two, I was teaching assisting-ing, and three I was just a mess. Hilariously, when I once did this summer program at Michigan, I used to wonder why the economics TA wore the same skirt to every class. I now fully understand and have committed the same offense with this really comfortable pair of jeans. I simply stopped giving a f*ck. I also was like pigpen when I would go out with people. But seriously writing intensely for days on end and also trying to manage life is sh*tty. There is no other description of it. LOL.

Sometimes my officemate and I would go out on these random ass excursions—like write all afternoon, go get margaritas and buffalo wings, and then go watch our students play club soccer. Or write all day, and then go watch the blackhawks at a gay karaoke bar and dance until our knees hurt. Or write all day, then go to my neighborhood bar, drink enough to make her boyfriend mad, and meet random people. Are you seeing the pattern?

Anyway so my dad came up for the first defense. This was so great, except the Chi was being the Chi, and it rained like cats and dogs so we couldn’t do much but we had a good time. Then Dr. O got married in what has to be the funnest (*ding) wedding of ALL TIME. It was just SO AMAZING. A bunch of folks stayed at my house, and we had two nights of open bars, an amazing ceremony, and lots of our typical foolery. We have just simply given up on trying to figure out when our behavior will change. There is a video of me dancing to baby got back which hopefully will not make it on youtube. The highlight of the evening (well one highlight) was when they brought out the midnight snack of these ridiculous French fries. SO GOOD.

What else—after the funeral, which was 2 days after my defense (is that not insane—sometimes I look back and wonder how I got over lol), I proceeded to start celebrating the fact that I was Dr. C-Dot. I went out basically every single night for weeks on end until my mother (because remember I was still at my parents’ house) started sending me bible verses everyday and asking if I was an alcoholic. This included a random trip to charlotte and one to Durham. Unfortunately I did not get any beach time in after I left the Chi, which is warped. I did discover the phenomenon of North Ave Beach Sundays about 4 years too late lol. Interestingly enough, I do not miss the chi one iota. Like not at all. Like if I see it on TV, I’m like “blah”.

I started working near the end of October. It is still rather odd to have this thing called “free time”.

J now lives in a condo down the street from mine, lol but surprisingly we are both still employed. What else? I helped P get into graduate school so he is a first year doctoral student (just call me “Jesus”) right now, however we are definitely no more. In the next few weeks, I am filing a LLC for a business I am starting, and I am applying for academic-y type jobs for next year. So life is good. Not too many complaints.

I have some fun trips planned for 2011. A wedding in Ghana, a trip to Ibiza to celebrate our 30^th, back to Chi to participate in the grad ceremonies, of course CIAAs, another wedding at a club med resort in Florida. I’m also training for a race in April.

And there is your update. 29 is great so far. No, it does not feel much different to have a PhD. I do not make anyone call me doctor. It feels different to other people around me I suppose. On my end, it was just the natural completion to years of an oppressive grind—it does not feel glamorous or anything like that. If anyone asks me should they do one, I say—if you are past 25 you need think really hard about what you’re jumping into and whether you truly have the commitment to finish. Not finishing to me is a special type of failure that will loom over you psychologically for a long time. I mean I don’t know this for sure but this is what I’m guessing. LOL.

More later.